Once more unto the mulcher

Garbage is stressful, no question. Who likes to think about the tons* of waste they generate every day? Fortunately, there’s some garbage you don’t need to worry about. Like, say, plant matter. The magic of organic material is that it breaks down and vanishes all on its own. No compost heap? Just throw it out in the yard. It’ll break down eventually.

Just kidding. You wouldn’t want to throw a bunch of corn cobs, corks, peanut shells and citrus peels all over the yard, because then you’d be living surrounded by garbage. And nobody wants to live like that, right?

Right?

corn-cob-planter-1024x768

Of the earrings below, Etsy seller AWoodenHeart notes, “OMG These are so cute! Made from real pistachio nuts and finished with design and varnish.”

mustaches

Varnish which makes them non-recyclable. But that’s OK, because I have a hunch the cartoon-moustache trend is going to be with us for a long, long time.

Below, a “unique candle stand and candle holder…The candle stand is made from old egg cartons.”

egg2

Orange peel jewelry:

orange peel jewelry

An eggshell-decorated planter. “You just need to color the egg shells. You must then place it on the borders of the planter. This will look creative and colorful.”

egg5

Finally, some dishware made of orange peels by Bezalel Academy of Art and Design graduate Ori Sonnenschein

Solskin-Design-Biodegradable-Orange-Peels-Objects-2-537x358

He even tried “turning the orange peels inside out, which gives the object a softer white texture.”

Solskin-Design-Biodegradable-Orange-Peels-Objects-4

Finally, there’s would-be compost that isn’t actually that objectionable to have around, but is downright offensive to be asked to make, like Make-Stuff.com’s Walnut Treasure Chest. If you want to save a particular “perfectly split walnut” from the landfill, be ready to wrangle miniature brass fittings, escutcheon pins, a “small rasp or grinder,” a tiny drill bit, epoxy, and two pieces of velour hemmed with a gathering stitch.

Yeah, OK, so the creator of this project probably isn’t trying to save the earth one walnut shell at a time. If only! Just imagine what else they’d come up with.

*In my case — but then, I’m a natural secretor of coal ash.

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17 responses to “Once more unto the mulcher

  1. Pingback: Off-Topic: Saving the World By Fiddling With Garbage | man boobz·

  2. This is hilarious – let’s take compostable materials and make them impossbile to compost! We’re saving the planet! Yay us!

  3. The trouble with biodegradable homewares is they have a nasty habit of… biodegrading. Oops! The bottom just dropped out of my coffee mug! Good thing I have these recycled tampon kitchen towels on hand.

    • Haha What I don’t get about those knitted tampons — you saw that post right? — is how any woman can fail to appreciate just what a complex piece of engineering a tampon is. You just can’t replicate that with crochet.

      • I will never understand the craft world’s obsession with tampons. There are those who wish to replace them (as you rightly point out, with significantly less functionality). These things will be as or less biodegradable than the store kind, and with repeated hot-water washing will probably be worse for the environment. So what exactly is the point? Then there are those who want to use tampons to make OTHER things. I can’t help wishing these people would just get together and cancel each other out.

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