Toilet humor

“I just came into about 25 toilet seats all different colors,” writes Stephanie at How Can I Recycle This? “I know they can be reused but I’m stuck. Please help.”

What, oh what do you do with a bunch of toilet seats?

A) Freecycle.org
B) Sell them on Craigslist

C), D), E)…

“I’ve been wondering this for years!* …Maybe for dog agility courses? I also thought about half submerging them in the ground as art work or for wild animal dens or paths!” -Anja

Those sure are creative ideas, Anja! They’re just the beginning, though:

“The bottom part could be used as a picture frame! …With a flat base, it can also be kept on a desk.” -Satyajeet Shahade

This calls for Regretsy’s “View it in a Room” gag:

toilet4

“I have a friend who used only the seat. She painted it & hot glued a mirror on the inside, making it a cool addition on the bathroom wall!” -Jan Thompson

I guess Jan’s friend and her family are a bunch of — wait for it — shitheads! Ahahahahahaha!

Eh.

Use two upper lids to serve as edges of a skate board, which you should build.” -Olga

Sick! (ATKS. Not, like, vomit. Though the mixup would be understandable.)

“If the seats are in a good condition, why not paint them to look more artistic and sell them? As long as some paint will stay on the seats.” -Anna

Just some paint. The rest… well, just call it an interactive piece.

“Attach the net and use as fish trap.” -Uluska

“Top part, if it is flat enough, can be turned into snow shoes.” -Galina

Finally, the prize for Most Ideas Ever Of All Time goes to… Steve Delago!

“Use the bottom for cornhole newbies**… The tops for skimboards n belly surfing… Paint a target n use for target practice… Top can b used as a shield for plays… Use either or for swing seats...Football coahes can use them for footwork agility drills in pkace of tires”

Or snort coke off it, right, Steve?

*…
**I’m a cornhole newbie myself, and I’ve been led to believe there’s no need for a toilet to come into it. Dan Savage better have been telling the truth about this.

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