It’s all about YOU

In the spirit of the Prism scandal, I’d like to be disconcertingly intimate with you.

I may not have the resources of the NSA, but I have a much smaller public. As of yesterday, there are 54 of you. Don’t you feel special? While you can’t claim to be part of a groundswell, you’re a member of something far more precious: A tiny elite. A kind of family.
soundofmusic3A close-knit, eminently spyable family. Er, spyable-on. Family.

Since I’ve got so few readers and access to the awesome power of the WordPress stats tool, I can basically monitor your every thought and action. The 11 of you who viewed Friday’s post? I was there with you. The 4 who clicked on yesterday’s picture of that guy covered in plastic bags? I saw.

Not to worry, though; I’m no Big Brother.

orwellhat

Like Orwell, I do wear a plarn hat, though.

Yes, I can see your clicks and thus know your most closely guarded thoughts and feelings, but my monitoring is done with love. Think of me as a kind of magic nanny.
The-Sound-of-Music-CDAnd like a 12-year-old with a masturbation problem, you can rest assured that I accept you. I’ve seen your deepest, most shameful truths and I still think you’re OK.*

Besides, I ain’t got time to judge. I’m far too busy making up stupid songs…
sound-of-music4and…

and…

Making clothes out of old curtains!
Sound-of-music-curtain4Good Lord, this post does have something to do with the purpose of this blog! I can’t believe it! Yaaaaaaa!

OK, OK. It’s just that this NSA thing is really important. Tomorrow, back to My Favorite Things.

*Except for you, #34. That is absolutely disgusting. Get out!

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