My Twisted Secret!

So many of you gobbled up the dark psychosexual content in my last post, I figure I’ll delve into forbidden territory yet again. psychoanalysisYou see, I’ve got a secret I’ve been holding back.

Do you want to know?

OK.

I really am OK with revealing this.

I’m OK
I’m OK
I’m OK

All right! Here goes:

I too collect trash with the hope of someday transforming it into lovely items!

Yes, when we establish Trashoholics Anonymous, I’ll be standing up and introducing myself with the rest of the poor saps. I do hold a “chip” in a sense, in that I never got around to actually making anything out of this stuff. But I haven’t thrown it away either.

So here they are, my three triggers.

THE SAN PELLEGRINO LIMONATA FOIL CAN COVER
limonataI should really get a special dispensation for storing these.* They’re irresistible! The colors, the perfect balance of the design — luscious. Have you ever flattened one out with your thumbnail? Have you noticed the peculiar weight of the foil? Have you… Have you… Hold on while I call my sponsor.

THE ICING TUB
pillsbury-creamThe deal with these goddamn things is that they’re good little tupperwares, but they don’t stack. I have to store them all tumbled together in a bin. It eats at me. As a result, I often fantasize about turning them into stuff. At the very least, I would like to make a couple of them into a bra.

brunhilde2

Maybe not.

THE CAFE BUSTELO COFFEE BAG
51QNRIn my defense, A) Look at that design! It’s beautiful! B) Even a few talented craftspeople are drawn to similar packaging as a material. I love these accessories by Mexican company Nahui Ollin.

grand-bal

wallet

In fact, at least one Etsy seller is offering a lot of 8 bags. Actually, though, that hardly puts me in good company. Look at these rusty Corona caps they’re also selling.

il_fullxfullBreathtaking! They are indeed “a visual history from vibrant and new to worn and faded… most are slightly dented with a few that are free of dents.” Thank bloody GOD. Without a full range of dentedness, those caps would be practically worthless.

AAAAND we’re back on with the schadenfreude. But if you have any Pellegrino foil covers, do send them my way. Let me give you my address…

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