It’s possible the gals at Limn & Lovely don’t merit our attention. Their bad idea, painting sea urchin shells neon colors, isn’t too terribly disgraceful. After all, neon colors are going to be universally beloved forever. And yet somehow I see a landfill in these urchins’ futures.
Besides, this whole website is so egregious that I simply have to point out a few of its crimes. I’ll go fast. Just imagine me jabbering like an auctioneer.
Laydeez And Gentlemen! The idiots we feature today say they offer “daily loveliness for every bride,” which is bad enough, but they also refer to “your wedding planning journey.” Let’s open the bidding at 30 do I hear 30? One of them describes herself as a “world-wandering fashionista,” my God, 30 from the lady in the back do I hear 35? They call German glass glitter “The Rolls Royce of glitter,” 40 from the gentleman on the right, and their favicon looks like truck nuts:
Those urchins aren’t nature anymore, they have become garbage. 55 from the phone. And the site has a section profiling certain “special” couples for everyone who wishes The New York Times wedding section ran every day
…60 from the gentleman on the right, AND they even misuse the word “limn” in their site’s name, 75 from the phone, you don’t mean “limn” you mean “limned,” you twits, get it straight, especially since you claim it’s “one of Lauren’s favorite words” — do I hear 80? And where do you get off describing “limn” as an “obsolete” verb? Going once at 80, do I hear 85? 85 from the lady in the third row and yet they were featured in Glamour Weddings, 90 from the gentleman on the aisle, which I guess is fitting since they’re helping Western society gorge itself to death so they deserve some sort of recognition for it
…going once at 90, do I hear 95? Going twice at 90, going, going
AND I HEAR TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS FROM THE BIDDER ON THE PHONE!
I think that closes out the bidding!
SOLD for $10,000 to the connoisseur on the phone!