When I wrote about chalkboard-painted globes last month, I had real doubts about whether people would agree that ruining a globe is a disgraceful heresy worthy of… well, not stoning, but maybe pelting with decorative orbs?
There’s a significant chunk of DIYers out there that believes old globes simply aren’t due the respect given to other vintage objects. Just look what these people did with their collection!
Even worse is “upcycling.” Here’s a web page with “10 Great Ways to Upcycle Globes,” like you’re just BURIED in old globes and it’s becoming a menace — the “globe” bin by the back door next to the newspaper and plastic-bottle bins is simply overflowing oh my GOD — but thank the merciful mothers, there’s a website with a few ways to address the infestation. And what ways!
You can stab a globe with a zillion thumbtacks to “make it fit a home with modern aesthetics…”
…which, while cool-looking, requires you to STAB A GLOBE WITH A ZILLION THUMBTACKS. For a quicker project, make a piggy bank. Er, a globey bank. Yes, that’s a slit with money poking out near the bottom.
You can also make a clock. “You will need only half a globe for this” — just in case you used the other half as a ceremonial chalice at last week’s invocation of Yog-Sothoth.
It looks kind of like a boobie with a clock pasty. (Clock pasties being things that do exist.)
Look, idjits, it’s not upcycling to take something that, while old, is still functional and attractive and turn it into — what is this for, exactly?
“Upcycling” is taking something that is indisputably trash, like, say, this cigarette butt:
And turning it into A FREAKING RUG.
By the way: Welcome, Metafilterians! Great to see you, but I must take issue with your description of this blog as a “slightly less drunk-sounding and slightly more cruel Regretsy.” For one thing, I’m thinker than you drunk I am! Hahahahaha!
EDIT: As per the request of the maker, I’ve cut the last two pix. Also the commentary. Sorry, fellow meanies!