Instructables: A Big Wet Nose

robotOh, Instructables. You floppy-eared, mangy mongrel of a design site, you. So eager to please. So desperate for attention. And so desperate for attention.

Did I already say “desperate for attention?” Because nothing but the most doggish desperation could motivate some of the people who put stuff up there. Wednesday’s post was actually the first time I used Instructables for this blog, more or less, and I can’t believe I’m only just getting around to it. My favorites are the people who don’t even have real projects — like this guy, who posted the concept of proposing marriage by putting a ring in an Altoids tin.

holder See, your ladylove thinks you’re trying to tell her her breath smells, but you’re really declaring your desire to stay with her forevermore! It’s beautiful. And thanks for the lovely photo, man. Without it, I might not have fully grasped the idea of putting the ring in an Altoids tin.

Admittedly, most people actually do make stuff. They just don’t bother to make it recognizable.

bot1 As always seems to be the case on Instructables, it took a complex mix of style chops and kismet to bring this masterpiece into existence. “To make this bracelet holder I filled the bottle with some leftover beads I had lying around… I filled the rest with a cheapo scarf,” the creator explains. “I painted the outside of the bottle with a transparent pink nailpolish and then let the scarf hang over the top slightly.” But just slightly. This piece is all about restraint.bit2

Really, it’s elegant. Wish I could say the same about that roof-repair job, though! (Snare sting.)

Not that there aren’t plenty of complex and intimidating Instructables projects, but my favorites are the totally half-assed ones. Like these bottle-cap earrings.

earringsFirst there’s the bad idea. (Beck’s? Yuck!) Then there’s the ugly execution. Then there’s the blurry photo. And then we have the project description that could have been written by an eighth grader: “These are super great for a fashion, casual or any kind of outfit because they are super nice. Instead of paying about 7$ Canadian for a pair, these cost just about 0$ because they do! This is also a great way to recycle your old bottle caps!”

I love how the “recycle” benefit is tacked on the end there. “All this and I can save the earth too? Super nice!”

Wednesday puzzle answers: 1-D, 2-E, 3-H (and also, WHAAAAT?!?), 4-B, 5-I, 6-C, 7-J, 8-G, 9-A, 10-F.


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