Vinyl Vandals, vol. 2

The proposal, if you recall: That people who mangle records have decades of bad musical taste under their belts.

Exhibit #2:

recordcakestandCake stand made of “a 44, 78 & 33 records,” albums not specified; top one appears to be “Richmond Football Club something-or-other;” silver handle which, I dunno, I have never understood handles on cake stands, I mean what? Just how mobile do cakes need to be?

Created by: Recycled Market sellers Kate & Rose, who are also responsible for this:

teacupstandSo here’s how I picture them…

Kate’s music collection, age 16:

I_Brought_You_My_Bullets,_You_Brought_Me_Your_Love_coverPanic! At the Disco, “A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out”
Evanescence, “Fallen”
My Chemical Romance, “I Brought You My Bullets You Brought Me Your Love”
My Chemical Romance, “The Black Parade”
mp3s of My Chemical Romance’s “Thank You For the Venom,” “Helena” and “Under Pressure”

(Kate’s the one who had the idea to put the teacup up there.)

Rose’s music collection, age 16:

groban1Berlin Philharmonic, “Beethoven: Symphony No. 9”
New York Philharmonic, “Gershwin: Rhapsody In Blue / An American In Paris,” Great Performances series
Josh Groban, “Awake”

Kate & Rose’s playlist for working on projects

josh_groban_all_that_echoes_a_pJosh Groban, “All That Echoes”
Chris Isaak, “Live at the Fillmore”
True Blood: Music From The HBO Original Series Volume 3″

These are Rose’s picks, of course. She’s the one with the craft room and Kate figures she’ll just trigger an awkward silence if she suggests playing Muse, or Pink, or, or…

OK, ENOUGH. I know what you’re thinking; you’re thinking YOU GODDAMN BITCH WOULD YOU STOP MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE’S MUSIC ALREADY, YOU TRY TO BE SO SUPERIOR BUT YOU COME OFF SOUNDING LIKE YOU’RE THE ONE IN HIGH SCHOOL, YOU MEAN-SPIRITED, SNOBBISH, INSECURE —

owlcarlyOh, wait, that’s just the voice in my head again. But the voice has a point. Namely, my taste in music sucks too. You know who I have on my iPod? Owl City. OWL CITY! Singing a duet with Carly Rae Jepsen! And I love the Pitch Perfect soundtrack and the Glee cover of Pink’s “Raise Your Glass”! And I’M NOT SURE I ENTIRELY “GET” LCD SOUNDSYSTEM! And sometimes, to get revved up and “on” for the day I listen to…

to…

THE NICKELBACK/KID ROCK COVER OF “SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTING”!saturdaynightsalright

*SOB*

Yeah, I suck too. Most of us do. I’m sure even you have some Chris Brown or Big & Rich in the ol’ stairstepper playlist. We can own this. But we can also be snobbish if we want to. Because no matter what kind of crap we like, no matter what names make us cringe when we scroll past them in WinAmp, at least we didn’t perpetrate this:

recordsSo don’t give us none of your aggravation. We’ve had it with your discipline. SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALL RIGHT FOR FIGHTING GET A LITTLE ACTION IN

SATURDAY
SATURDAY
SATURDAY
SATURDAY
SATURDAY
SATURDAY
SATURDAY
SATURDAY
SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALL RIGHT

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2 responses to “Vinyl Vandals, vol. 2

  1. All right, some records deserve this treatment. What makes me laugh out loud when I see these objects is the attention given to detail while at the same time the obvious lack of any aesthetic sensibility. Without wishing to seem cruel I have to ask, did they come from, or are they going to, a home for the blind? Your ideas about the evolution of the musical taste of their creators seems a logical correlation.

    • Glad you think so! Yeah, I wouldn’t mind seeing Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” melted into a wrinkly bowl. That album got my developing musical taste off to a very bad start in 1983.

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