The truth is out: laundry leads to love. That’s what we learned last week, when a beautiful young girl with a jones for drilling holes in laundry jugs dumped her dull, suburban husband and ran away with a mysterious stranger with plastic bottles on his feet.
Actually, I had an inkling of the connection a couple weeks ago, when I was looking for stupid new uses for pallets. I ran across something I hadn’t seen before: a pallet wood ceiling.
Nothing like a canopy of listeria overhead. And OK, maybe bugs aren’t actually going to rain down out of that wood, but I was flummoxed by the notion of decorating a laundry room. Who spends more than 20 minutes a week in a laundry room?
For one, there’s “The Modern Mrs. Darcy,” a blogger who models herself on “the future life of” Elizabeth Bennett from Pride & Prejudice. I’m pretty sure Elizabeth would head for the hills if she thought marriage would mean spending 3 hours a week on laundry, as the “Modern Mrs.” found she herself did when she kept a time diary.
What do you do in a laundry room for 3 hours a week? I think I have an idea. It has to do with a few lavishly redecorated laundry rooms I ran across online:
The lush fabrics, soft frills, twinkling crystal chandeliers, elegant vessels full of powders and potions… add some candlelight and these rooms would look just like romantic bedrooms. Oh, wait!
I got your candlelight. So the answer is obvious, right? These gals are totally Betty Drapering it up in there.
It makes sense, actually. If you’re a Mom relying on the kids’ naptime (and/or Dad’s) for an interlude of personal relaxation, ol’ Mr. Rabbit can be prohibitively noisy. In fact, as Amanda Hess noted in Slate, the major factor that keeps women from masturbating more is logistics. It’s no wonder so many women are looking into the little room with a big, vibrating machine and seeing a great place to multitask.
None of which has anything to do with saving the planet, I admit. But sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.