The Theory of the Chalkboard Banana


It’s a fake banana covered in chalkboard paint. Do you need it? Does anyone? Should it exist at all?

The theory of the chalkboard banana:

We love recycled crafts partly because we yearn. Living in a consumer society, we don’t just enjoy shopping; we crave it. All those fun little decisions to make; all that wonderful new stuff!


At war with this impulse, for many of us DIY-ers, is an awareness of how consumerism’s “more, more, more” compulsion is hurting the planet. And our souls. So when we get “the urge,” we don’t head to the mall; we dive into our toolboxes and sewing bags. Even better, we cast a speculative eye at some of the stuff we were about to throw away. We think, “Hey, I could transform that plastic soda bottle into a lap desk! Then, not only will I keep the soda bottle out of a landfill, I’ll get a new lap desk!”


Great idea. Unfortunately, though, recycled crafts tend to require a few more ingredients than just trash. They tend to require things like polyurethane varnish, or new fabric, or paint. Like, say, chalkboard paint.

Thus the chalkboard-paint banana. Our creator runs an Etsy store specializing in chalkboard-painted stuff like this:


(Chalkboard blocks. Are these a good idea? I honestly can’t decide. Parents?)

But then at the end of the day she’s left with leftover materials she didn’t use, like, say, two inches at the bottom of a can of chalkboard paint. She doesn’t want to throw it away, because that wouldn’t be eco-friendly. So instead she sculpts a styrofoam banana to paint. And, Lo! One more pointless piece of stuff cluttering the world. It may be an object made by hand; undoubtedly with love; and it’s not ugly. But even so, should it really exist? Really?
Below, some more chalkboard objects that shouldn’t exist. I was going to rank them in order of uselessness, but they all came in about even.



(Don’t talk to me about the menu board. Who really plans dinner a week in advance?)chalkboard-traydiy-chalkboard-wreath


5 responses to “The Theory of the Chalkboard Banana

  1. The chalkboard blocks seem like a cool idea. But most of the chalkboard stuff just seems like someone was overwhelmed by the novelty that you can turn any surface into a chalkboard, without thinking about what that would accomplish.

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